4 Years With Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

It has been 4 years since the first time I took a photography session with
  Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. When the first session came I had already been signed up as a volunteer for 6 months. I remember going to my knees and praying to God to be my eyes, hands, ears and feet. I did not want to make any mistakes and I wanted to be a servant. 4 years later I still have the same prayer before every session.

I have watched people grieve in so many different ways. There is nothing predictable about personal tragedy and sadness. I never know which sessions will stick with me the hardest and which ones I will be having a dream about months down the road.
The main thing I want to share is that before volunteering I did not have any idea how many miscarriages, infant losses and still births there truly were. People experience this tragic loss everyday. It's so important for people to be able to grieve without feeling embarrassed or ashamed, to know that they are not the only ones who have experienced it and to know that they are not alone without support. I have met women who suffered a loss more than 25 years ago. They still feel the loss, but are even more sad that it was not something that was talked about. Memories about the pregnancy, birth or short life were not something people around them were comfortable talking about.
I think it is very special that we live in a time where people are more free to grieve these losses through photographs,  memento's and custom made art pieces. I  know several parents that have their babies name or footprint tattooed to be permanently close to them, it's a way to express love for the angel they miss so much.

Lampwork Glass Bead Necklace

I didn't realize that so many creative people made things just for these parents. Many of them have experienced loss themselves.
CarlyMarie Project Heal through grief has created something that connects people from all around the globe in a beautiful and sharing way through art and social media.

One of the first artists that I found who creates lovely pieces because of grief she experienced is
The Midnight Orange. I have featured her on my blog before. I love the beauty she creates.

Most people want to be there for their friends or family who are experiencing loss. But they find themselves at a loss for what to say. Not acknowledging your family or friends pregnancy and loss is not the way to handle it. Here are some suggestions for helping the bereaved.

And there is a  forum is available on NILMDTS that is free and a wonderful support for parents.

Please share it with those that need it.

If you don't personally know anyone affected by this kind of loss and still feel passionate to help there are so many things you can do. I have a friend who creates matching sets of blankets for me to give to the families. One for baby and one for the parents to sleep with at night. Other local people knit and crochet baby hats and outfits and some people create memory boxes for the parents to keep everything in. 

My favorite thing you can do anywhere anytime is PRAY. Pray for families that they find comfort and healing in knowing they can see their child again someday.

And of course you can donate to NILMDTS.

DONATE:)

Faces I have seen, people I have met and angels I have held are permanently in my heart and always will be.
When I had my photography studio I was certain that having someone share the wedding day behind the scenes was the most intimate thing a photographer could share, I was completely wrong.
Photographing for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep with the families and their babies is the most intimate thing I can imagine on earth. People are at their most vulnerable. Many photographers sign up to volunteer with NILMDTS and cannot continue on, I completely understand that. I believe God has given me the strength to do it and everyone does not have the same calling.

Penny Brown, Nurse, Midwife, Memorialized

Recently my family went to New York, into the Allegany State Park for a geocaching event. The ASP is very close to Salamanca, New York. We are from Pennsylvania so really it is almost over the line.

When we came out of the woods for a donut, we saw on our gps there was another geocache to find in town. so we decided to check it out. We dead ended into an Amazingly Beautiful farm property. We first thought thecache was there but realized half way up the gorgeous drive we had gone to far.

Right outside the gate was a walking path and it was so beautiful out after having rained all day the day before. We hadnt walked very far when we started to notice light blue ribbons tied around trees going down the path. I thought maybe they were planning to cut them for timber. Then we came across a large wooden cross.

As fate would have it the light filtering through the leaves and trees in the spot where this cross sits makes the entire scene magical and enchanting. Purple flowers adorn the cross. I had an immediate feeling come over me that this was something more than just a memorial. Part of me really thought it must be there for a child. On closer look I saw that what was glittering from the trees were pennies, there were pennies at the base of the cross, garland made of pennies and then I saw a little marker that said Penny Brown.

Angels holding babies were at the base and a beautiful cement bench.

The family went on to find the geocache and I stayed back to take it all in and make some photographs of the spot. I was so touched by it and had such a feeling come over me that I needed to know who this was for.

Technology today made that easy for me to start gathering information, even though we were technically on a Indian Reservation. The Seneca Nation with beautiful mountains all around, there is also a state of the art casino a black away and CELL PHONE service with WiFi.

Penny Brown, Salamanca I googled and immediately answers came and so did the reason why this memorial brought on so many real emotions.

On Mother's Day in May of 1999, Penny a nurse and midwife and active citizen of her community was attacked while jogging with her dog and strangled, raped and murdered.

The criminal, 15 year old, Edward Kindt. If his birthday had been 2 months earlier, he would have had at least an additional 16 years to serve before being eligible for parole.

Because her family, friends and community, including elected officials were outraged by the lack of punishment, Penny's Law was written into legislation. It changes the lives for juvenile offenders from 5-9 years to life to a more justice serving sentence of 15-25 years to life.The people of her hometown have made other changes too, by reclaiming the jogging area where Penny lost her life and making it a beautiful place for people to walk, jog and stay active. Remember Penny Brown's life, her family and the sad tragedy that led to her death. If you are visiting Salamanca, visit the memorial and leave a PENNY for Penny to let her family know she is not forgotten.